"So my mom got a new phone, with lots more buttons. For some reason she thinks I would still like to play with the old one, but I know better. I know that one can't make outgoing calls. How am I supposed to make the necessary calls to do stuff like, I don't know, hire Bobo the clown?! Anyway, I wasn't about to sit still for pictures with the new phone, so you are all stuck looking at semi-blurring photos of me. Haha, that will teach you all. **sniff**sniff**, does something smell funny?"
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